To the Mum who tries to do it all...
That’s me, I’m that Mum.
Or at least, I was.
I’d set myself up to fail daily with all the things I thought I needed to get done. I wanted to look around and see achievements and accomplishments, ones that I could physically tick off a list.
Because that’s who I was before kids, goal driven and busy. Don’t get me wrong I’m busy now, I’ve never been more exhausted in my life! But it’s the type of busy that can also feel like you’re getting nothing done at all, sometimes a “bored” kind of busy (sorry kids, but sometimes that’s the truth).
I’d try have the dishes done, washing out, house tidied, dinner prepped all before my husband got home (my new goals) all to look around in a frazzled state and wonder how the heck the place looked like it did.
Even something as simple as getting out of the house for me now is a huge achievement, I don’t even look in the mirror before I walk out. If I have a window of opportunity with nap times aligning out we go.
Self identity has been hard, as I sit in a house I actually once described as a cesspit (slight exaggeration), but self discovery has been the reward throughout this.
Because I’ve realised I can’t do it all.
And that’s okay, I’m not supposed to.
Not right now, not in this season.
Accomplishments and achievements aren’t something I tick off a list anymore, they’re two little humans sitting in front of me.
Yes I still have goals, I’ll get to them, but right now the only goals I’m kicking are nappies into the laundry, and that’s okay too.
It’s so much more than looking at a tidy house.
It’s looking at love and it looking right back.
It’s harvesting the gift of time into little growing hearts and watching them flourish because of it.
Some days I get the things done I need, most days I don’t. On those days, I now realise that I can’t have it all if I try to do it all.
So on those days, I must have been giving them my all instead.
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