It's The Longest Time and The Shortest Time

It’s the longest time and the shortest time.

Where this new found purpose of mine has rearranged parts of me from before to make room for a love I never knew existed.

It’s floating and drowning in the space of mere minutes.

It’s whipping around at the sound of “mummy”, to be surprised with “I love you”, instead of a demand.

It’s tears and tantrums, safety and surrender.

It’s where words become sentences before you know it.

It’s counting down the minutes til bed time and shedding a tear at night wishing you’d been more present, wondering if they know how loved they are.

It’s the longest time and the shortest time.

Forever a mother, forever wearing the scent of another, forever in love and stopping and starting chores, thoughts, conversations.

It’s holding their little hearts and wearing their feelings. It’s crowded toilets, dirty windows and a pure imagination that makes you want to cry.

It’s hoping you’re doing enough now so they can brave the world without you one day.

It’s feeling so deeply, so very deeply.

It’s the longest time and the shortest time.

It’s letting them fall asleep in your arms, whispering heartbeats, taking in every inch of their face.

It’s day care drop offs with a sigh of relief and pick ups where they exclaim to everyone their mummy is here.

It’s where you’re the most important person in the room, it‘s the way their eyes land on you.

It’s wanting to dip your toes into your old life when you need to catch your breath, it’s knowing you’d never change this life for a second, because they are your breath.

It’s the growing within, the growing together.

It’s long days, short years and a million moments that stand still in between, ones I hope I’ll remember forever.

Motherhood isn’t one or the other, it’s a combination of both, a recipe of everything. It’s all encompassing and it’s going so fast.

But right now I get to hold them.

I get to love them.

Right now I get all of them.

For the longest time and the shortest time.

~

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